Bob and I had such a terrible experience last Saturday. We got a letter in the mailbox - it was from our friend, Jerry in Arizona. The letter opened like this; "When you get this letter, I'll be gone"..................
Well, you can imagine what that was all about.
We got the letter on the 8th and on the 7th he shot himself outside his home. His wife, and my good friend Jann, died three years ago. Jerry could not get over losing "his lady" and "Love of his life". "They say that life goes on but it is not true. The day that Jann died my life ended." So he left in order "to go and find Jann.Some say it is possible, some say it isn't. Nobody knows for sure. Wish us good luck.", he said.
It sure was a hard message to get - reading fresh lines from a person who had, by the time we read the lines, left us. And today is Jann's birthday, Dec 12.
I am sad and I try to cope with it as best as I can. It is hard. I try to learn something from this and that is to truly listen to somebody when they say they don't fit in anywhere in life. Jerry wrote that to me some time ago. It is important to ask what the person puts into that statement, what he/she can do to recover, what we can do to help the person, who can help, what can be done........... Jerry was lonely, he had NOT ONE person that he would see, his two step sons lived far from Arizona and he closed everybody out. Jerry did not have a friend or a coach to share the pain with and to perhaps work out a new plan and direction in life.
He closed down the computer line, the telephone line and did not watch TV for the last year. When one of his step sons said he would like to come and see him, Jerry said that he had changed the home and did not have a bed for him to sleep in any longer.
Oh, how lonely he must have been. How much he must have missed" his Lady." It makes me feel like throwing up when I think of it. I am surrounded by my family and lots of friends and colleagues. It helps me keep going even when I am in deep mental and physical pain. And I have lost a teenage son and undergone painful and dangerous spinal surgery.
As a Life Coach I now guide people through the process of grief and loss. I also give lectures on the process of grief and loss and how friends and colleagues can deal with it best. The best thing we can all do is listen to the person. But hear me, you can not save or fix somebody who does not wish to be better. And it does not help anyone to blame yourself because another decides to take their own life
Well, friends, I had to write this to you. I know that you have your own pain and challenges and I don't ask you to take over mine. I just want to be heard and share some knowledge and experience. I want to share with you what is going on in our lives right now.
However, we also have many good and warm moments. Grandchildren come and visit us, so do our children here in Norway. And we are blessed with family,friends, clients and interesting activities. We are truly grateful for what we have.
I wish all of you wonderful healing days, filled with warmth and love.®
Well, you can imagine what that was all about.
We got the letter on the 8th and on the 7th he shot himself outside his home. His wife, and my good friend Jann, died three years ago. Jerry could not get over losing "his lady" and "Love of his life". "They say that life goes on but it is not true. The day that Jann died my life ended." So he left in order "to go and find Jann.Some say it is possible, some say it isn't. Nobody knows for sure. Wish us good luck.", he said.
It sure was a hard message to get - reading fresh lines from a person who had, by the time we read the lines, left us. And today is Jann's birthday, Dec 12.
I am sad and I try to cope with it as best as I can. It is hard. I try to learn something from this and that is to truly listen to somebody when they say they don't fit in anywhere in life. Jerry wrote that to me some time ago. It is important to ask what the person puts into that statement, what he/she can do to recover, what we can do to help the person, who can help, what can be done........... Jerry was lonely, he had NOT ONE person that he would see, his two step sons lived far from Arizona and he closed everybody out. Jerry did not have a friend or a coach to share the pain with and to perhaps work out a new plan and direction in life.
He closed down the computer line, the telephone line and did not watch TV for the last year. When one of his step sons said he would like to come and see him, Jerry said that he had changed the home and did not have a bed for him to sleep in any longer.
Oh, how lonely he must have been. How much he must have missed" his Lady." It makes me feel like throwing up when I think of it. I am surrounded by my family and lots of friends and colleagues. It helps me keep going even when I am in deep mental and physical pain. And I have lost a teenage son and undergone painful and dangerous spinal surgery.
As a Life Coach I now guide people through the process of grief and loss. I also give lectures on the process of grief and loss and how friends and colleagues can deal with it best. The best thing we can all do is listen to the person. But hear me, you can not save or fix somebody who does not wish to be better. And it does not help anyone to blame yourself because another decides to take their own life
Well, friends, I had to write this to you. I know that you have your own pain and challenges and I don't ask you to take over mine. I just want to be heard and share some knowledge and experience. I want to share with you what is going on in our lives right now.
However, we also have many good and warm moments. Grandchildren come and visit us, so do our children here in Norway. And we are blessed with family,friends, clients and interesting activities. We are truly grateful for what we have.
I wish all of you wonderful healing days, filled with warmth and love.®
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