Category: Careers

Success Attitude.Who Do You Spend Your Time With?

18/2/2014

This is nothing new, and many have said it before. But it’s worth repeating again, because it is so truly important to your life´s success.

Previously in "You are What You Eat", we said the people you hang around with help create your attitudes, shaping your thoughts, behaviours and your life.

In other words attitudes rub off and thoughts are viral. Positive thoughts can take us in one direction and negative thoughts in another.

Who do you hang out with now? Are they motivated? Happy? Enthusiastic? Lazy? Critical? Blaming? Remember you always have a choice. What or whom will you choose?

If you hang out with motivated people you will be more likely to get motivated too.

When you associate with unmotivated or lazy types, it's more difficult to be enthusiastic and motivated.

Part of the solution is to find some new people who are motivated, industrious, positive and focussed. You can do this live, online or in a book. Add some new persons into your life.

You become what you eat and whom you associate with!

Remember, your attitude determines your altitude! Choose the one you will have.

Live, love and laugh, Marianne and Bob.

Like Us or Tweet us below or share links

Communications and Cultural Differences

15/12/2013

Krakow, Poland, a lovely well preserved and interesting Middle Ages City of about 1,4 million people. Today, with its 21 Universities and technical schools it houses well over 200,000 students. In the 1600s it was one of central Europe's most important cities and is home to one of Europe's oldest universities.

We are here now because Marianne gave a course on Cultural Differences and Good Communications in the workplace to about 75 engineers. They say that training a group of engineers in so called soft skills is a challenge.

Understanding cultural differences and how to communicate is essential to doing a good job professionally and completely in a corporate milieu where there are mixed cultures.

We have written a lot about communication skills before so will only speak about cultural differences and how they affect your life and job performance. However, remember that good communication skills are an important part of all of this.

The leading guru internationally in the area of the importance of cultural differences in the workplace is Dr. Geert Hofstede who came out with the Five Dimensions of Culture in a report in 1970 which he has revised and updated since, the last being 2010.

This tool is very useful to understanding core differences between cultures and helps on two main points. The first is to understand ourselves and how we think and behave. The second is to give us useful information about other cultures we may work with. This understanding leads us to better possibilities for teamwork and improved individual and company performance.

Regarding the first point, in life in general and on the job specifically, you must understand how you think and behave at a deep cultural level to know how or what you must change to get to the new destination. In other words, "here I am where I think and function like this" but want to get over "there", the corporate culture for example, therefore I must change certain beliefs and behaviours to complement the corporate culture not work against it.

This has implications for both management and the workforce. Management may need to adjust its style to get the most out of the employment relationship. The employees may need to adjust their thinking and actions. Adjusting means taking action to implement the understanding, not just logical or academic understanding.

Learning to be truly mindful about your own culture and the others culture is the same process in any relationship, on the job, at home or socially. Being more aware of your self and the others always gives the possibility for improved relationships and performance therefore improving the happiness quotient. Here I refer to cooperation and teamwork.

This raises the question, "What does it mean or look like to be truly mindful of the others in a relationship? I will talk about this another day.

Learn about yourself and build mindful relationships!

Live, love and laugh, Marianne and Bob

Please remember to Like Us or Tweet Us below. Thank you for reading our blog!

Self Acceptance, Be Yourself, Ellen DeGeneres

9/6/2013

Here is a women that we admire very much for being who she is,for being herself. She does a great job of it as a stand-up comedian, a former primary actress in a popular social sit-com and as a hostess to her own TV program,The Ellen DeGeneres Show. Most of all she is best at being Ellen, a lesbian out of the closet, and someone who is willing to stand up and be counted for who and what she is and believes in. It has cost her a lot and she has managed the new path well. This is a very inspiring video, well worth seeing. Enjoy.

No Risk No Reward - Be a Butterfly

11/5/2013

Opportunities come along to change your life and you see them and think " Shall I be a butterfly? Shall I come out of my cocoon now and be that person I want to be? Shall I take a chance?"

"Oh my, what will I do? Not now. Perhaps after summer when the kids are back in school. Maybe then. I am going to be busy now making plans for summer. And then there is summer holidays."

"Besides I am not sure I can learn this and make the changes. Maybe it is not worth it?"

And then there are those times when you decide to do something and take action. Life happens to you and things change. You didn't make excuses, or think you were not capable, or that it was the wrong time of year or your life, and so on. You did it and something powerful happened. You created change and a different life in your family, relationships or on the job. You recognized a possible reward and took action to create it.

Suddenly you are successfuly creating change. You create something new, wonderful. powerful. You get the job. There is some spark back in your relationship and communications have improved with everyone. Fantastic, yes?

You decide to take a course. Maybe you get some lifecoaching to support and help you reach your goals or overcome a challenge. And you get the new job, receive a promotion, drop all the stress, build a business, improve your relationship or love life.

That is the reward. You have no doubt heard the expression "No risk, No reward!" There is so much wisdom within that short statement. Everything you change is a manifestation of "No risk, No reward!" Everything. But here is what is different.

It is all in how you see the risk possibilities and the reward possibilities. If life seems to be just one big risk to you then that is what you will experience. Fear of risks. But when you change your thinking, your beliefs or your communication habits, life changes for you. Then you can start to see possible rewards, take action and live the rewards of the changes. You have, without any exageration a new life. Wonderful. Delightful and Powerful. Yes to possibility and yes to being rewarded. Yes!

The other point about risk is this. What is the worse that can happen? And what can you learn from that? What you learn may be that key piece of information, experience or learning that you need to take your life to the place you want it to be. Right? You are sitting on the edge of future rewards. Become a butterfly and metamorphose now. Get out of your cocoon if you want to live things differently!

I encourage you to decide to take that course or get the coaching help you need to experience life, to live life in the way that you dream it could be. Stop making excuses and rationalizing. For your sake take action now and invest Now in your future life.

The Art of Communication Expanded

8/5/2013

Last post I wrote about tips for the Art of Communication. In that post I said, "The following tips very much anchor themselves on two important factors. The first is that if you continue to do what you have always done you will continue to get the results you have always got. The second factor is, you are personally responsible for your own behaviour and thoughts."

I received some questions about these two factors. " Why," said one reader, "would you say that these two points are important in communications?"

The reason for the first factor is very simple, but not so obvious. In order to change something you must change your thoughts, beliefs and behaviours. To get somewhere different or better you must have some idea of where you want to go or be. You must have a goal. Your results will change when you change your attitude, thoughts and behaviour.

Remember, we have an Art of Communication Class coming up in Sandnes, Norway. Here you will learn how to make those changes and learn new techniques that lead to better job performance and better relationships.

The last factor, personal responsibility for your thoughts and behaviour, is quite clear now that the necessity to change has been explained. Someone else cannot do that for you even under force. Ultimately it is you that always has a choice. Sometimes the choices are not easy, but they are there. The other thing that often gets forgotten is commitment and power. If you blame others or assume it is others responsibility to decide for you, you will not be commited to getting the results. In other words your motivation will be lower. You also give away your power when you do not assume responsibility.

Claim your power,be understood and get motivated by learning the Art of Communication.

The upcoming Art of Communication Class will be teaching the techniques for better communication skills. With these new skills your job performance will improve, your work environment will change and the quality of your family life and even sex life can change for the better. Everything between people starts with communication. Better communication gives better results. And - bad communication gives bad results.®

Live long, be mindful and prosper, Marianne and Bob

What Do I Want To Do ?

17/4/2013

Think about this. What would you do if you knew all this?

What would you do if you knew nobody would judge you? If nobody would criticize you including yourself? What would you do?

What would you do in this lifetime if money or time or health was not a problem?

What would you do if somebody always loved you no matter what you say or think or do? If somebody always believed in the possibility that is you? What would you then do or create?

What would you do if you knew that everything is perfect and all that you choose to do is wonderful and more than good enough? What you are and do is perfect.

What would you do if you knew that all the past was forgiven without conditions? That you are not your past. That tomorrow is a completely new day and all that happens is now, right now. Not yesterday nor tomorrow.

What would you do if somebody told you that there is a way to touch a miracle each and every day? That the miracle costs nothing to touch and experience?

What would you do if you knew that there is a special power in beginning something? Start, take action and bring into play the energy of the universe that surrounds you. There is unlimited power in creation.

What would you do if you knew for certain that you can change your life? What if you knew and understood that by changing your thoughts and beliefs, you can change your life? When will you start? How will you do it?

What would you do if you knew that your experience of sadness and happiness is life and that it comes and goes? Life is not all happiness, nor is it all sadness and misery. Life is a flow when we let it flow through us we have a true experience of life.

What would you do if you knew that nobody can change your experience of life other than you? That you are responsible for your experience and your results. You are the creator of your experience and as such can change it. You can change your life to something else if you decide to and take action.

What do you want to do?

Yes, I admit that if someone gave me a pile of money tomorrow it would make parts of my life easier. I know that what I do today and how I do it affects my future. The choices I make, the thoughts I have, the beliefs and values I hold sculpt my life. And the attention I give the present moment sets the quality of my life experience.

So the choices we make and the focus we give our lives create our lives. Mindfullness training and communication skills are a great help to getting what you want. First you must choose!

Live mindfully in the present moment and focus on your choices, not somebody else's.®

Live long and be happy, Marianne and Bob.

Please Like us or Tweet us below to further share this posting if you liked it.

Life is a Story, What Will Your Story Be?

7/4/2013

I am 5 feet 3 inches tall, (158 cm). When I was young I played and won many basketball games in my mother's back yard by making key turn-around jumpshots, fades and foul shots at the last moment of the game and mostly I never missed.

On those occasions when a shot did not physically go in I changed the story and charged ahead. By changing my story I won for my self and my team. I was filled up with glowing warmth and strength. I had the experience of winning by making a new story, shooting, driving, passing, hooking, fading jump shots. I could hear the crowd and feel the handclaps of my teammates on my shoulders. It was so cool. I felt it and it was good, it was fun!

I guess that most of us have lived some fantasies as sports heros, actresses, keynote speakers, warriors, nurses, doctors etc. We did it and it was called play. Lets pretend. It seems that we "grow up" and stop acting out or practicing our fantasies. Suddenly life seems to change. Some people feel we lose this skill of imagining or visualizing and practising in such incredible detail that it seems and feels real. I don't really think so.

Do you know what? I don't know about you, but I quit practicing. There were "serious things that had to be done" and time was of the essence. The problem was I launched out without a dream and just took a good job without a vision of my possible life story.

But here is the thing. Are you really happy about your present life story? What if you decided to change your existing story that you are not happy about? What if you decided to change it to a new happy success story? What would it look like? Feel like? Can you hear the sounds of doing it intensely, becoming great at it, so great it is real? Sound, texture, smell, feel and movement. Can you imagine what you must do,whom you must speak with, what you must learn and practice to get there? Get some life coaching to help you to visualize and create a new life story.

Think new life story and get into it! Just like this.

Wow! I am standing at the annual Pulitzer Prize Award meeting about to give my acceptance and thank you speech for the Pulitzer Prize for the book I wrote which has sold 5,500,000 copies and is making a difference in peoples' lives!

The place is packed with people all dressed up for the occasion. I can hear the low buzz of people, feel the crackling of the energy. And then I hear the voice of the master of ceremonies, Oprah, over the sound system. " Ladies and gentlemen (pause and I can feel my heart beat faster and my mouth is dry!), it gives me great pleasure to announce the winner of this years Pulitzer (Pause - stillness and ) Robert Tewsley, for his best selling book - "Getting the World you Want Before They Take it Away". Thunderous applause as I stand up suddenly and walk over to the podium.®

Dream big, take action and practice wildly, love and light, Bob and Marianne.

Now I Visualize you "Liking Us" or Twittering us below, and do it , thanks.

Change to Succeed

24/2/2013

Everything has to start somewhere and life change is no exception. In order to start the change process you have to know where you are now and have some idea where you want to go or be. The steps you take or the how to get there comes from understanding the two "wheres". Now and the future.

Let us take a look at where we are now. This is very obvious when you live in, say, London and you want to get to Oslo. With your physical health it is also relatively straight forward. You are overweight now because your healthy weight for your height is 69 kg and your present weight is 98 kg. Where you are now is clearly overweight.

What about so called mental issues? Today you feel depressed and tired of the same old job. As well, and you don't much like to talk about it, your relationship is a struggle. Not the joy it was 8 years back, before the two children arrived. You have lost interest in sex and feel your partner has become a grumpy troll much of the time. Where are you now and where do you want to be? A little more complicated, yes? Can you see where SMART goals can be useful?

Do you blame yourself or your partner? Do you blame your boss, or your parents or? Do not waste your time and energy on this. Blame is just a distraction and a lack of imagination. Focus rather on what you can do to meet your goals.

If you desire change, you must be willing to look closely at your life and see where it is out of balance and consider that you are responsible for some of it. If you are willing, then progress will take place with some focussed use of self awareness or mindfulness techniques.

This kind of disciplined use of self understanding techniques and openness creates new possibilities as you learn about yourself in your job, relationships, friendships and life in general. Practice the techniques and you will become good at knowing and understanding yourself. That is how personal change occurs. It is a rocket ride to change.

Michael Jordan was, I believe, the greatest basketball player in the world. He wasn't always that. He was cut from his high school team, but wanted to be good at basketball. He went and researched what he could do. He spoke to the coach and asked him for a practice program that could take him to a place on the team. Michael got up early every morning and went to the school gymnasium and practiced and practiced and practiced. Later on, game after game he attempted to score many times and failed many times. He also scored many, many times and became a great success. And the rest is history.

What I am saying is if you want something, you really desire it, then it is easier to commit as the desire pulls you through the fear and the work and disappointment. But you need some techniques, some tools. After that comes practicing the techniques and taking the actions that move you towards your goals. In the case of your self, understanding of yourself gives you the how to stop repeating your old stories and to create new stories, to reach your goals and make the changes you want.

My experience shows me that if I am stuck in a situation that I do not like I must see how I behave and think in order to change my negative outcomes to those I would rather have. If you change your thoughts and your beliefs then you change your behaviour and your outcomes, your results change. This means your life changes. Continue to think the same, believe the same and act the same, what do you get? The same old thing. Is that a surprise? I do not believe it is a surprise even though I see many of us that work very hard at not seeing this truth.

So what are these tools I referred to that could help us discover how we think and operate? In short form here they are. Learning to be mindful and to live mindfully. Mindfullness involves meditation, relaxation, self reflection, self questioning, openness, honesty, asking for feedback and willingness to see and understand the truth. Being compassionate towards ourselves and others is very important. In other words learn to stop judging, criticizing and blaming. Learn about being responsible for your own life. ®

I will say more in future posts about mindfulness, meditation, relaxation, self reflection and compassion. Like the various types of shots and the flow of the game Jordan learnt to perfection, these techniques can train the muscles of consciousness so that you live mindfully and awake. its a lot better than sleeping through your life or pretending you know it all.

Where there is a will, there is a way and the mindfulness tools provide the details of how to live life mindfully and on purpose. Have a wonderfully mindful week and "Do not fear mistakes, there are none. Miles Davis"®

May the force be with you, live mindfully, Bob and Marianne

Tips for Setting Goals

21/2/2013

It is more challenging to set goals than we like to admit. If you know what you want and you are clear on the outcome wanted things are simpler. Setting and achieving your goals is even better with the help of the very popular SMART goal setting process.

SMART is a short form, an acronym, for Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Reasonable and Time Bound. It is a great goal setting tool. It is, not a magic bullet. You still have to be engaged and do the work and SMART will make your life more effective and focussed.

S means the goal must be Specific and not vague. A non specific goal would be, "Get in shape." A specific goal is “Join a fitness club and workout 4 days a week.”
The more precise the goal, the more focussed and effective you are.

M means Measurable. How will you know when you have achieved the goal if you can not measure your progress? Ask yourself questions like……How much? How many? How will I know when it is done? When? What will it cost? What are important milestones?

Measurement is also a motivator. How long have I come and how much is left? When broken into doable, bite sized pieces your progress and the fulfillment of sub-goals gives you and your project momentum and confidence. Measurement is about trust. If completed in the stated timeframe you believe in yourself and others believe in you. You have increased or established your value and are trustworthy and self confident.

A stands for Achievable. A SMART goal must be attainable given the available resources and it should be agreed upon by all parties. Agreement establishes commitment, creates stronger possibilities and smoother workflow. A challenging goal is motivating but it must be seen to be possible.

R is for Reasonable.It is important that the goal stretch participants, but it should be realistic and relevant to you and your company. Ensure the actions you need to take to achieve your goal are things you can do and control.

T is for Time bound. The goal should be finished within a given time frame. Without a time frame you do not control your outcomes and your effectiveness and costs are likely to climb.

An expanded version SMARTER is just common sense on top of SMART. The E and the R stand for Evaluate and Repeat. Simply put, SMARTER says look at what you have done and evaluate it against the planned outcomes. Was it on target? Are there some adjustments to make it better? And then repeat the SMART part over again.

The SMART goal setting process can be used for projects in your work life or equally well for personal goals such as fitness, learning new skills, improving a relationship,health or personal and spiritual development. An experienced coach is a very valuable help in setting and reaching your desired goals.

Using SMART goals is a great motivator, organizer and tracker of activity. Use it and you will be pleased with the results. It will give you better effectiveness and results.

What do they like to say? "Fail to plan and you plan to fail!" ®

Live SMART and prosper! Bob and Marianne

Say What You Want

2/2/2013

Have you ever noticed how often we say what we don't want instead of saying what we want?

It is quite informative to look at that process: Somebody says to me; "do you want to travel to Thailand?" I answer, "No, not Thailand." "Well, what about China?" "Nope!" "Canada?" "No thanks, not Canada." "Cuba?" "No." "Italy?" Uh uh!

So we have thought about five travel destinations and have narrowed the choice somewhat. How many more hundred to go? It is possible to get somewhere by saying no enough times if you finally say yes! Here is the thing, what is it that you want and will you know when you get there?

There was a great banner which hung high above the customer services counter in a bank I once used. It said
"Whether you know where you want to go or not all roads will get you there." In other words find out what you want and you will know which roads to choose to get there!"
We are going to end up somewhere even if we avoid risking saying what we want. That could be very disappointing.

Once you say what you want you can begin with a simple process called a Gap Analysis to find the entrance to the main road. A gap analysis, put simply, is this. Write down where you are now and write down where you want to be. The space in between is the gap. What needs to be done to get to your destination? Ask yourself the following: What steps or things must I take or do to move in that direction? What is the first? When will I start? Finish that task?

What I want is the district sales managers job: I need first to get that advanced sales training. I will do it by March. ®

I am looking forward to your comments!

<<Previous

Authors

Bob and Marianne own SteppingStoneLifeCoaching.
Marianne, a Norwegian, is a Certified Life Coach, former Conflict Resolution Counsellor. She has also studied five years at the University of Stavanger.

Bob has over 12 years experience as a life coach, career and business counsellor. Bob also worked for some years as a strategic policy analyst. He has a Masters in Public Administration and also worked as Business Consulting Services Manager in Canada.

Please note that all the written material in this blog is Copyright, but can be used or quoted if the source www.steppingstonelifecoaching.com is quoted. Concerns or questions, contact us please.
And please leave a comment, we would love to understand you a bit better.

**********************
Min bloggliste
Anne Helene Grøntoft
levmotivert
Gimundo
The Positivity Blog
JeffWalker.com