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Marriage, Divorce and Love, #4 - Arguing and Issues

11/10/2013

 
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What are the top issues which start most arguments with couples? What are the issues that cause most of your arguments? Share your top issues below. Go ahead, it is painless. We will share the results with you in the next post. No names or email addresses necessary. It takes 1 minute.

Usually couples begin to argue about something because things go out of balance. It can seem to be a little thing, but it triggers a big underlying issue. For example, I end up mislaying something, my smart phone. It is not soooo important, still we end up arguing. The real issue in this case could be criticism and self respect. Not what I first became angry about.

    What is Your Top Argument Issue?

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In a relationship you are part of a team, Team Realtionship. When things go well you function well together. You have a sense of harmony and happiness, Real Love. A relationship is not about worshipping the other or putting yourself in second place. It is about we, the two of you working to create a balanced and happy life. You create and keep Real Love in the relationship. 

How to keep that balance, keep the love? Learn some proven techniques. 

An important step is to solve your problems when they come up. Identifying the underlying issue as you have just done creates a focus for discussion. (Have you finished? Do it Now!) Problem solving is only possible when you have a full and complete discussion of the issue before you focus on the problem solving. 

First step always, using the Speaker - Listener technique (scroll down to Marriage Divorce and Love #3), discuss fully the issue that has come up. Take your time. This part is most important. Rather do it when you cool down. Take a time out and agree to come back to it later.

Now it is time to speak with each other. The children are asleep, or with mom or the babysitter and the TV, cell phones, tablets and computers are turned off. You are sitting down to speak with and listen to each other as equal partners. The discussion ends when both of you feel you have been heard and understood. 

Now you can agree to move on to problem solving. We will give you a technique in the next post.®

Have a very good weekend. Live, Love and Be happy, Marianne and Bob.


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    Authors

    Bob and Marianne own SteppingStoneLifeCoaching.
    Marianne, a Norwegian, is a Certified Life Coach, former Conflict Resolution Counsellor. She has also studied five years at the University of Stavanger.

    Bob has over 12 years experience as a life coach, career and business counsellor. Bob also worked for some years as a strategic policy analyst. He has a Masters in Public Administration and also worked as Business Consulting Services Manager in Canada. 

    Please note that all the written material in this blog is Copyright, but can be used or quoted if the source   www.steppingstonelifecoaching.com is quoted. Concerns or questions, contact us please. 
    And please leave a comment, we would love to understand you a bit better.

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