There are many who say that the period of euphoria we experience when we fall in love is not really love. Rather it is intense infatuation which draws us together. In this time our lover is absolutely wonderful, fulfills us, does no wrong and makes us feel like a king or queen. Then, of course there is the intensity, uniqueness and frequency of our sexual relationship. Everything gets blended in together. It must be love and that rush, that great feeling is mistaken for love.
But Real Love starts when falling in love ends. When things have cooled down and criticism, our own desires and the reality of life creeps in we have a choice to make. Will we choose Real Love or a romantic idea of love based on infatuation? Those who choose Real Love will have some work to do and will be rewarded deeply for that choice. But it isn't free. There is no free lunch in marriage. You must do the work to learn the tools and techniques of solid self affirming love.
So bring it on friends. What are those tools? And can anybody learn to practice and have real love?
The answer to the second question is; anybody who wants Real Love can learn how to have it. Anybody! And it means re-focusing and doing some work to learn and then ongoing practice.
What are the skills you can learn to have Real Love and a fulfilling relationship? The core skills you need to have a loving relationship are good communication skills, problem solving techniques and to understand the language of love. You must put all of these into practice and the relationship will go well.
Here is a very hard fact. If you do not learn and use these skills then you are likely doomed to a journey into disappointment, frustration and feeling out of love. That is where the love has gone. Maybe you will then join the ranks of the divorced or you will tough it out regardless of the pain. The learning and practicing of proven relationship skills will likely give you a better and more loving relationship. You will be rewarded for your work, rewarded with Real Love.
In the next three posts we shall talk about good communication skills, problem solving techniques and learning to speak the language of love and how to find your partners and your language of love.
Another reminder that we shall be holding a one days course at the end of October, max six couples, on how to have Real Love in your relationship. Be fufilled in your relationship, be happy, be in love again.®
Have a great weekend, Marianne and Bob.
This is number 2 of a 5 part series on Love and Relationships.
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